FOR many this is a wonderful time of year, a time to celebrate and spend time with those that we love. For Christians around the world it is a time to remember the birth of Jesus Christ, coming together in word and song to heartily sing those classic carols that tell of His birth. But for many, Christmas is a time of sad nostalgia as the pain of the loss of a loved one is amplified by the thought of happier Christmases past.

In 1997 Wanda Bencke wrote a beautiful poem entitled ‘Christmas in Heaven’ as she sat by the hospital bedside of her young disabled daughter. On Christmas Day Lisandra had suffered a massive seizure, falling into a coma: she died five days later.

The pain of losing a child is immeasurable, and that includes miscarriages and still-births. But they are not a yardstick to measure grief against. Losing a loved one at any age can be catastrophic; a loss many struggle to come to terms with. Time is not the great healer. It does though allow us to build up resistance to the pain of loss, allowing many to cope with constant feelings of loss and separation. For many, that pain is a constant companion.

Most people over the age of 30 will have been touched by the bitter sting of death. They will have lost someone or something they loved. They will have shed tears then, and may continue to do so now. Some will get to the end of their own lives still grieving those who went before them. Grief has no time limit.

But it’s fair to say that there are certain times of the year when grief and pain become more acute…with Christmas-time high on the list. Because many of our best memories are centred on Christmases past. Happy times of childhood and family; of warmth, love and togetherness. How we miss those times! How we miss our loved ones!

But those memories are a beautiful treasure that can never be erased. We hold them in that most special of places, our hearts. Unfortunately, that special place can also cause us the most pain. A memory can bring a wonderful smile and a painful tear in the same breath. Bereavement cannot be classed as a friend.

How strange then that at Christmas we hear the story of the wondrous occasion of a baby born in a stable; a birth that changed the world for all time. We hear about the joy of the Shepherds and the wonder of the Magi (wise men) as they knelt at the foot of the manger, gazing on the face of the Christ-child. It is the most beautiful of stories, but what is that to those who continue in the unending cycle of bereavement? How are the two events even linked?

Through hope and love! The story of the Nativity – found in the Bible Gospels of St Matthew and Luke – is a story of hope; hope for this life and hope for the next. God loved us so much that He came as a baby into the world to be with us; to save us for all eternity.

Earthly life and death can be painful for all, but knowing that God awaits our return, to welcome us home to be with Him and those that we love, perhaps makes death and bereavement a little easier to bear.

So, this Christmas, raise a glass to those that we have lost, smile at their memory, and offer thanks for the gift of life given to us by the Christ child.