IN case you hadn’t noticed, weddings are back! After two years of restrictions, couples who have waited two years for their ‘dream special day’ can now plough ahead with their plans – cue tearful parents, nervous best men, unpredictable pre-school bridesmaids and close scrutiny of weather forecasts! And whilst some things have changed, (more midweek ceremonies, more pre-recorded music, ‘usher’s now being called ‘groomsmen’), other things haven’t.

For example, the most popular Bible passage at a wedding is still ‘the one that talks a lot about love’ which says: “Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails!”

You can see why it’s popular because who wouldn’t want their new spouse to know that they were the focus of a love like that? But it’s a passage where not everything is quite what it seems!

These verses are from a letter the apostle Paul wrote to a Christians in Corinth in ancient Greece in about 53 AD. Contrary to popular opinion, it was not written for a wedding, or for two people in love, or even for a general romantic occasion. It was actually written to a church who were engaged in an ongoing public argument about just about everything to do with what it meant to be a Christian! In fact, the atmosphere was so grim that Paul says their church services were so bad, they do more harm than good and it would be better for them not to meet! It’s ironic that one of the greatest passages about love was written to people who couldn’t stand each other!

Despite that, this Bible passage is a great one to have at a wedding because it addresses a crucial question every married couple needs to answer; “What will you do when you don’t like each other?” Now they could respond by saying that won’t be a problem because they were never going to disagree or fall out with each other! That’s understandable sentiment on your wedding day but an unrealistic ambition for your marriage relationship (ask any married couple!).

Statistics tell the sad truth that 1 in 3 marriages don’t last because the genuine love of the wedding day evaporates. Whether through a lack of communication, a growing separateness, different priorities or a lack of honesty, the real thing becomes a pale imitation of the real thing and eventually collapses. How is it possible to establish marriages that don’t just survive, but thrive whatever the circumstances? That’s where these words from the Bible are so helpful

Paul tells them they could overcome their disagreements and get back on track as a church by choosing to show love to each other. Not love based on positive feelings, because they didn’t have those at that moment, but love rooted in a determined choice to show patience, kindness, unselfishness and forgiveness to each other by acting the very opposite of how they felt

And that’s the point! True love is ultimately about unconditional commitment. The depth of a couple’s love for each other won’t be seen on their wedding day because it’s easy to love each other then. It will be seen on the days when their feelings are not so strong and times are tough. Days when love will be shown through a choice to actively show it, even though you don’t instinctively feel it, and other options might seem better

If you think that’s just unrealistic and impossible, the Bible tells us love like that has already been shown to us by God through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Jesus is the ultimate demonstration of true love is, Jesus is the personification of all the qualities of love Paul is writing about is. Because God’s love for us is patient, kind, unenvious, not boastful, not proud, not self-seeking, and not easily angered. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. It never fails and it never ends.

So the best advice I can give any wedding couple is to put God at centre of their marriage from very beginning and the best present anyone can give them is the promise to pray for them in the years to come. Because if they love each other the way that God loves them in Jesus and if they love each other with the determined love that Paul writes about in this passage, then not only will their marriage be the one they want it to be, it will also be the marriage that God wants it to be. And that is worth celebrating on any day of the week.